The antidote to loneliness isn’t always connection ~

Because loneliness and aloneness are not the same thing

Sometimes we think the cure for loneliness is more people. More plans. More time with friends.

And while connection is beautiful, I’ve found that it’s not always THE antidote.

Rather, I find the true medicine lies in learning how to be with ourselves— fully.

Because loneliness & aloneness = 2 different things.

A Common Pattern

We as humans learn to fill the void with many things.

But think about it. Even if we had our best friend over for the longesttttt soul-nourishing dinner… When they leave (and they would have to at some point).

Our quiet emptiness creeps right back in.

Why More Connection Isn’t Always the Answer

Sure, people *can* be there for us. And that’s the beauty of connection and community :)

But I find it can be a trap if we learn to seek antidote there.

Thinking: more connection can take away our discomfort, maybe our deep seated loneliness.

The Real Medicine, Allowing Death

What’s helped me in breaking this cycle, was allowing a kind of death.

Letting the feelings of loneliness wash over me, consume me, and then eventually away from me.

It feels really scary, because it touches a deeply tender part of us. But I promise you, it’s also deeply freeing.

You Can Still Want Love

We all want to be loved and comforted. And that’s okay.

Let your people support you. Let your community hold you. I’m not asking you to be a loner for life.

Let others be there for you, but not to cure you of your pain and loneliness.